Stronger

So to be completely honest , today has been a hard day. Finding out your ex husband is engaged isn't the way I like to start my day ( or year ) ... But it is what it is. Happy or not , all that matters are my kids and their happiness . I never want them to have to go through another divorce and I just want them to have the best possible future.

All breakups are hard , regardless of the situation ... It is a process and has different stages , no one talks about how to deal with divorce , or how to properly handle watching your ex get remarried . But what I do know that what im feeling is normal . It's normal to feel a little hurt and a little jealous . As happy as I am that he has found someone it's hard not to think "what does she have that I didn't ?" . I think another thing that makes it more difficult is that I am not in a relationship so it's easy to feel alone or that something must be wrong with me . 

But instead of dwelling and crying and getting upset , I am going to turn this negative into a positive and use this as a time to reflect , appreciate my life and just focus on the only thing I can control which is being the best mom I can be. My boys are my main priority and I am going to have to invest some time and effort into making myself someone that I think they will be proud of . I have so much to be thankful for and so many people who love me . 

I know that one day I will find the person that will make me want to get married again , but until then I will just continue building a life that I can feel confident in even if I go it alone . 

So as hard as the news was to swallow today , I am realizing how much stronger I am than I was a year ago, how much I have grown , and how much I still have to work on . 

I am a believer in you get what you give and I am going to continue to give it my all.... 2015 is going to be a year of personal growth and self improvement .... I'm excited to see the changes. I can do hard things .... Because every day I'm a little bit stronger!