You can all comment now :)

After quite a few people said they were unable to post comments , I did some research and changed my settings so now anyone can leave some love :) Please keep it positive , share your story , give advice , whatever you feel ... Thanks for all your support ! 😘😘😘

You can do anything . But not everything .

As I lay here with a heating pad on my stupid ovarian cyst , I can't help but think about my day tomorrow and all I need to accomplish . I really don't have the time to be dealing with this pain right now . 

I , like everyone , have big plans for my future . I want to be able to support my children and be able to give them everything they need and deserve . Like I've said before , this was never my plan ... I never thought I would be 28 and single with 3 kids , trying to make it all work . I am so inspired by all those that work hard to support a family . I have so much more respect for men and the responsibility they carry to make the money to provide for their families . I've done both roles , I've stayed home all day with the kids and that was hard . And now working and still trying to be an invested parent is hard. I have to rely a lot on the babysitter and my parents to help fill the voids. 

I'm trying my hardest to be more disciplined and create structure for the boys and myself .... I struggle with the thought of finding the time and energy to go back to school. I know I need to make a change to improve my financial situation , I just don't know how people do it all ! But then I ran across this quote

All I can do is set realistic goals and try my best. I know I have friends and family that support me and want what's best for my family and I just need to have faith in myself that I can do it . 

I have received so many emails and texts from people who read my blog , so many unfortunately are going though my same situation and it breaks my heart. I wouldn't wish this on anyone , but hopefully this helps us all look at what we do have and cherish it . Marriages are ending everywhere I turn , quitting seems to be the answer to so many and I just wish that wasn't the case. Marriage is worth the effort . Your kids are worth the effort it takes to change and the time it takes to work on your relationship. No one is perfect , some relationships are easier in ways than others , but at the end of the day we all want the same things , to love and to be loved in return . Raising young children is challenging , your wife is going to skip a shower because she spent her whole day with the kids and meeting their needs first . Your husband is going to bring stress home from work and want to relax , the financial responsibility is a big load to carry. We may find other people outside of our marriage that seem to "get us" or fill the voids in our lives , but I promise that if you would just honestly communicate those needs to your spouse, they will listen and feel relived and probably share the same feelings. 

I promise , the hardest marriage can work if two people are willing to work on it . Love is a verb , you have to actively show your partner that you're in love with them . I did not do that in my marriage , we both assumed the other knew how we felt and it caused us to feel that it was a relationship that we couldn't be in anymore . I would do anything to turn back time and change it all. The last thing I wanted for my children is a broken home . It breaks my heart that they have to split their lives in two ... But that is the life we have created for them . I now can't stay home and raise them , I have to work to provide and I have to go days without seeing them , all because we were not dedicated enough to making our marriage work . 

I cannot control what Matt chose or chooses to do anymore . I can only try and create a heathy co-parenting relationship and try to learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them . I have learned to not hold back . When I love  you , you'll know it. Even if it's not reciprocated in the way I would like , I'm not doing it for the return . I love showing people  how much they mean to me , and one day , I'll find the guy who feels that way about me . But until then , I will continue to love the life I have and never settle for less than I deserve . I will work hard to be the best mom I can be and never give up. Although my marriage ended , I still believe in it. I believe that the world we live in today has made it easy to quit and feel like we can find better . Trust me , the grass is only green where you water it . 

I hope that all of you that read this can take something away from this and know that no matter what you can DO ANYTHING just not EVERYTHING :) ask for help , communicate , and give yourself credit. We are all fighting different battles , let's help each other instead of hurt. Xoxoxo Whit 

Stronger

So to be completely honest , today has been a hard day. Finding out your ex husband is engaged isn't the way I like to start my day ( or year ) ... But it is what it is. Happy or not , all that matters are my kids and their happiness . I never want them to have to go through another divorce and I just want them to have the best possible future.

All breakups are hard , regardless of the situation ... It is a process and has different stages , no one talks about how to deal with divorce , or how to properly handle watching your ex get remarried . But what I do know that what im feeling is normal . It's normal to feel a little hurt and a little jealous . As happy as I am that he has found someone it's hard not to think "what does she have that I didn't ?" . I think another thing that makes it more difficult is that I am not in a relationship so it's easy to feel alone or that something must be wrong with me . 

But instead of dwelling and crying and getting upset , I am going to turn this negative into a positive and use this as a time to reflect , appreciate my life and just focus on the only thing I can control which is being the best mom I can be. My boys are my main priority and I am going to have to invest some time and effort into making myself someone that I think they will be proud of . I have so much to be thankful for and so many people who love me . 

I know that one day I will find the person that will make me want to get married again , but until then I will just continue building a life that I can feel confident in even if I go it alone . 

So as hard as the news was to swallow today , I am realizing how much stronger I am than I was a year ago, how much I have grown , and how much I still have to work on . 

I am a believer in you get what you give and I am going to continue to give it my all.... 2015 is going to be a year of personal growth and self improvement .... I'm excited to see the changes. I can do hard things .... Because every day I'm a little bit stronger!