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I could write an entire book on "opportunities" that I passed up simply because I wasn't willing to put in the work. We are all given talents and doors are opened for us but how often are we confident enough to take the leap ? This can apply in so many areas of our lives. Work , Relationships, Self Help etc. We are all striving for "success" but what defines success varies from person to person. Some may see a well paying job as success . some may see living off the land as success. Some may see fame as success while others see a family/ marriage as a win. But for most of us, we want it ALL! We want the perfect spouse with the perfect job that pays for the perfect house that's in the perfect area with the perfect neighbors and all this creates happiness that would allow us to relax and spend time doing the things we are actually passionate about and would be eventually recognized and validated for our efforts . But why is it always "after I get A B & C " then I can do what I'm passionate about ? Why do we think that we are not succeeding unless we have all of the above ? You hear so many stories of people that had it all and to wasn't until they LOST IT ALL that they truly found happiness . We live in a world full of INSTANT GRATIFICATION , we want what we want and we want it NOW . We can google any question and get an answer instantly and without much effort. We want to have an app full of eligible people with all their qualities listed and the ability to just swipe through the ones that don't INSTANTLY catch our eye. We want to watch the entire series of a show in one day instead of waiting each week for an episode . We want the high paying job with zero experience because somehow we think we have earned it. We think we are DESERVING of happiness and success simply because we are who we are .
I have become more and more aware of this after my divorce and like I mentioned before I seemed to have "lost it all" . I had the husband , the kids , the house , the job .... I had it all. Being married so young I went from my parents home straight into a life that honestly was not that difficult. I didn't really have to work THAT HARD . Somehow in my little world , things just happened. I found a great guy who worked hard , I was able to stay in my comfort zone , stay close to home and family , we didn't struggle to start a family or buy a home , we had to work but we made enough to get by and pay for the "things " we needed. But what I didn't do was try to improve or work on myself . I didn't think about my future or what I would do if I was actually in charge of my own destiny. I had a husband to do that . He was the leader , the money maker . the practical guy with all the real life experience and skills and I was simply coasting along enjoying the fruits of his labor . Sure , I was a mother and that was a lesson and a job within itself , but even in that aspect , I was simply surviving each day and not really seeing the HUGE opportunity it was to better myself and my children. So when life handed me the devastating news that my marriage was over , I had no idea the actual OPPORTUNITY I was being handed as well. Now I'm not saying that you life has to be ruined to get better , in reality we should be proactive and do things to avoid these kind of "wake up calls' . We should learn from others examples and that's exactly what this post is about . I'm hoping to give you the wake up call you need to avoid some of the heartache and sleepless nights . I wish I had realized these things sooner , but the important thing is not how we learn the lesson but just that we apply it and change for the greater good.
Like I mentioned before I could go on and on about the things I passed up , the opportunities I missed etc. But instead I'm going to share something that I am proud of... and opportunity I didn't look at as overwhelming or scary . I simply listened to my heart and took the leap.
Most of you know that I have been a medical assistant for many years. I loved my job, my patients , my co workers and especially loved the Doctor I worked for. My job although not the most glamorous , gave me a sense of purpose . The pay wasn't amazing but its what it was and I just kept going. I was used to being the "extra money " maker not the sole provider , even after my divorce I was still just focused on making enough to pay the babysitter and get insurance. I never really thought of my distant future , my retirement , my happiness , my anything really . I just knew that I was doing a job that I didn't hate and I was satisfied with that . In the back of my mind I figured I would meet someone who would once again make all that happen for me and I could go back to coasting.... Well , one year of being single turned to two , then three and now I'm on four years with no Prince Charming on a white horse coming along to save me . Reality hit hard when the company I worked for made it very clear that I was not valuable , I was replaceable and there was no real opportunity to ever advance in that position . It hit me like a ton of bricks . This wasn't taking me anywhere . I could never be financially independent if I continued doing what I was doing . I needed to do something else, I needed to start investing in something that would give me MORE than just laughs, validation and enough cash to pay the babysitter. One day the alimony and child support will run out , and one day I would have to rely on ME to make my life a success.
I started small , reading some self help books , working on my confidence and forgiving my past. I worked on healing myself first . I really think it was at least a solid year of not focusing on finding a guy, lot of lots of tears , lots of reflection and lots of positive thinking and changes that eventually helped me realize my worth. I was finally accepting of single status and ready to start LIVING instead of SURVIVING.
I made the decision to quit my job in January and stay home with my kids . I knew that I was basically working to pay the daycare so I wanted to try and take this OPPORTUNITY to stay home with the boys and do the work myself . Staying at home is WAY harder than any job , its been a challenge for me . There is NO validation , no one saying thank you and NO PAYCHECK . But there was a sense of knowing that they will only be little once and I felt like I wanted and needed to be a bigger part of it.
After a few months of being home I was starting to go a little stir crazy ... depression was starting to creep in and I was feeling lost . I had seen my friend using this makeup and wanted to try it , I had no idea that little decision was going to be such a huge opportunity for me . I went to her house and loved the product , I bought it and went home feeling excited that I had found something that actually made me look and feel pretty ! Looks aren't super important to me but who doesn't want to wear makeup that covers their imperfections and brings out their best features! I really didn't think much else about it , I was just excited to tell everyone I knew about it . I didn't even think about selling it until Kami posted a thing saying that sign ups to do so were closing for a while and if anyone was interested they needed to do it now ! I like everyone else in Utah was sick of MLMs and found them annoying but all I could think about was how much I loved it and wanted a discount haha so I called and signed up right then . I really didn't have the money but decided to just invest in myself for once and honestly it was the best $199 I ever spent. Once I saw and learned more about the actual company , the owner and creator , saw the sisterhood and the way it was set up to be different than other MLMs I was sold. Its just so much more than makeup. I love sharing the product that had helped me with my self esteem and in turn helping other do the same helped me even more ! It has strengthened friendships I already had and created so many new ones . It has given me a purpose , a source of income and given me the control over my success again. It allows me to be creative , its flexible and allows me to still be a mom . I have had so many other doors open up because of this and I can only imagine how many more are up ahead. I am so grateful that I did not let the doubts I had about this sort of business get in the way , I'm glad that I didn't let the fear of putting myself out there stop me , I'm glad that I simply seized an opportunity that was presented even if it was" dressed in overalls and looked like work. "
So the moral of the story is look for the opportunities in your life , pay attention to the signs you are given and the things you read and desire . Try to be proactive and do things to better yourself and your life . Its never to late to try something new , don't merely survive , start LIVING ! You are worth the effort and if you do it the right way and for the right reasons so many others will benefit from it as well.
I still have a lot to work on , its a daily battle to stay positive and moving forward , but I love that I have found a "job " that fuels my fire to be better and to keep going and improving. This may not be the end all be all , but its a great tool in creating the future I want. It has inspired me to start blogging again , I have some events with some public speaking coming up and its helped so many of my friends find success and happiness as well . I am grateful for this opportunity and feel like I have to share it with others . If you have any questions please feel free to email me at freshfacemaskcara@gmail.com. Thank you for your love and support, it means more than you'll ever know . I believe in each of you .
xoxox Whit
*There is a link to my makeup site in the right column if you're interested !
