Out of the Blue

And then... Out of the blue ... Pinterest shows you a quote that explains everything you feel & think. 

Dating in this day and age ( yes it's that much different from 10 years ago ) is all about instant gratification ... Judgement , void filling and rejection . I will admit that I have learned so much more about myslef  through "dating" ... I am more aware of my flaws , I am more guarded and selective with who I share things with . Trust has to be earned , not freely given . Not every guy is a "good" one ... People lie about their height ,weight , marital status and employment record ... They will say what you want to hear but not be sincere ... I know I'm not everyone's type and people will tell you that on the spot . They will kiss you and never call again , they will make promises they can't keep , break up over text , and ask for gifts back . 

What dating has done to me is make me skeptical , insecure , and in some ways bitter... It's made me think that I'll be alone forever and that I must be broken in some way ... But that isn't true. 

I didn't let my divorce make me give up on love and happiness  ... So Im not going to let my dating issues do that either .  

I've learned that PATIENCE is the key . Feeling that twitterpated feeling is such a high ... The fun of hearing compliments and getting attention distracts us from the "red flags" waving in front of our faces . We want to badly to be "accepted " and "validated " that we tend to let things that we would normally not like or agree with slide . We think we are being understanding and a good person because we are accepting that person for who they are and in turn they will do the same for us . But then , just like that . They will reject you based on one of your faults , or decide that you're just not a good match .... Leaving you broken hearted and with a complex that something must be wrong with you! Wine in reality .. That person just did you a favor. 

They didn't deserve you're love or what you had to offer ... Your strengths and attributes that make you a catch to one person are not what another person is looking for . It has nothing to do with your worth , only that they didn't see those things as that. 

I still can't understand how people can cheat or some easily give up before getting to really know someone , but what I do know is that that we cannot let these bad apples spoil the whole bunch . You can't be afraid to try and put yourself out there ... The best defense against getting with the "wrong one " is to be totally in tune with yourself . 

You have to know what you like , what you don't . What are your non negotiables. Why did your other relationships fail? What are your strengths , your weaknesses? Thoughts on commitment , issues with jealousy .. Availability to date , free time ... etc 

You cannot meet someone and start a healthy relationship if you cannot answer these questions .

So I may be one for a while as I am learning more about what makes me , me ... And as I learn what I want in a partner ... But that's ok , because when the time is right I'll be able to give my whole self to someone and they will appreciate that I know myslef and what I want . They might not completely LOVE everything about me ,but they love me completely for the person I am . 

My happiness project is all about self realization and working on being a better happier person ... I think it can only help and not hurt my future relationships... So I'll continue to be patient as I remain single ... But know that I am enough , and someday I'll find the man who compliments my life and adds to it in so many ways .....