Some things never change

I have this very vivid memory of when I was probably around 8 or so , we had just went as a family to the West Point Carnival . Apparently we as kids were not very nice , we probably cried , whined and threw a fit ... But whatever it was it made my dad very very mad which was pretty hard to do .  I remember us all getting sent to our rooms ( even my mom got grounded ) . I know that night I wrote in my journal "my dad is mad at us for being bad at the park . We are all in our rooms , even mom... I hope he won't be mad tomorrow ." 

 Well history is repeating itself . All the boys are in their rooms and I'm in time out as well . I think the lack of sleep from working all night has led me to have even less patience than normal ... I'm sick of the arguing , the wrestling , the fighting and the whining . 

So here I sit .. Eating cold pizza and writing down my feelings just like I did when I was 8. I guess some things never change . 

As I reflect on things it's kind of interesting to me how true it is that we are all just" made the way we are " I am still very similar to my 8 year old self ... As hard as I work on improving things about myself ... some attributes are just how I am and what make ME ... ME :) 

 I'm learning this more and more as the boys get older . They have all been raised basically the same way but all have such different ways of coping with stress , anger and what makes them happy . 

Knowing what makes you , you and what makes you tick is such an important thing. Self realization is hard but slowly through all my ups and downs Im figuring out who I am . 

So when you get a second , think back to how you delt with things when you were little ... What funny quirky things do you still do !?? Do your children do some of the same things you did ? It's funny , interesting and kinda crazy how we are all made . 

So the moral of this story is that I KNOW that I do not do well on little sleep ... I'm an overthinker and stress out about things that I can't change . I'm crazy and weird and love to laugh ... I'm a people pleaser and hate confrontation , a giver and trusting to a fault ... I'm impatient and impulsive but spontaneous and will do anything for laugh. Writing my feelings has always made me feel better and I honestly feel like I can survive the rest of the night now that I've done this :)  

Thankful that tomorrow is a new day , and for the power of cold pizza ;) 

Goodnight folks . 

On a lighter note ... How cute is Taggart with his missing front tooth 😍