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So much has happened this past week .... I have done some 🎶wishin and hopin and thinkin and prayin plannin and dreamin🎶 (Name that show)
And have come to the conclusion that I am going to be fine..... My dear sweet and loving friend Brit and I had such an awesome experience on her moms anniversary of her passing. We had a really special and spiritual day and had our eyes opened to a lot of things.
She is single as well , and we can really feed into eachother when it comes to how "lonely" we are and when is life going to get easier . We talk about what we "could be " and how a relationship would somehow fix everything . It would make us whole.... It would give us drive and would validate our efforts ..... But that day everything changed ... We realized that WE are I'm charge of our own happiness and WE make ourselves whole and validated . If we do not love ourselves who is going to love us? We will find ourselves in relationships where we are filling a void instead of adding to our happiness . We need to be happy and in love with our lives before anyone worth having will want to be in it.
I was I'm such a bad place leading up to that day .... I was mad , mad at my life , mad at my situation , mad that I had these cards delt to me.... But that day and the experiences we had changed my outlook. It felt like a giant weight had been lifted . I felt lighter ( even though the scale at the doctor shows that I have obviously been turning to food for love ) , happier and most of all more appreciative for the things I do have .
I am a mother , daughter , granddaughter , sister and friend . I love my job and the people I work with ... I forget sometimes in my own little pity party that is may be the person helping someone else's day , and I need to be string and remember my worth.
I received the sweetest text from a friend of mine ... I'm not sharing to brag but to show the impact we have on people...
-Just wanted to tell you how much I admire you. . You can always lighten up even the shittiest day..and I don't even think you realize what an impact directly or indirectly you make. .
Tears filled my eyes when I read that . I did not need a man for validation , I didn't need a man to be loved and cherished . I have so many people around me that "complete" me in more ways than I could ever imagine . I am so blessed .
Well I hate to interrupt the sappy post, but as we speak the boys are crawling past the now OPEN bathroom door (someone HAD to pee ..... All over the freshly cleaned toilet seat grrrr.... ) thinking they are hilarious and sneaky ... Apparently seeing your mom naked (I do now wear a washrag to cover myself up ) is funny and way more entertaining than the tv show that's on.
So many family members know this story but I have to share it on here .... A few years ago , I think the boys were like 3 and 4 ... I was taking a shower . In our old house (where my bathroom had outlets unlike my current one ) I had a big huge nice walk in shower with glass doors.... I once again had an audience and Hunter said "mom I like your hair" and I responded Thank you that's so sweet .... And then little Taggart thought for a minute then said "mom I like your boobs" hahahahaha
I about died laughing.... Kids say and do the funniest things but that will forever be one of my favorites and I'm sure his future girlfriends will love to hear about it ;) so at the end of the day , even though I almost puked when seeing my body in the mirror ... Even though my kids are crazy and never stop wrestling and chasing , even though I am a single mom and poor as a mouse ..... I am loved and appreciated more than I know and that is good enough for me :)
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