Believe

Well.... I survived another Monday . I have so much to be grateful for , my kids , my family , my friends , my job. I am alive and only semi old, my body is in ok condition (notice I didnt say shape) and I can still laugh. 

Laughing is the only way I know things are going to be ok. If there ever comes a day when someone cannot make me laugh then I will know I'm surely dead. 

I think I may not have grieved my divorce properly because for some reason I feel like I am feeling all those emotions now. I feel like I was trying so hard to be strong for my kids and keep myself busy ... That I think I forgot to just let myself be sad. Divorce is like a death , you lose something and someone ... It takes a piece if you with it and I'm feeling that void now. 

I know that I will be ok and that I will survive , I feel my kids are happy and have accepted their new "reality". I think now that I am not so worried about them it has finally sunk in how sad I really am. 

I know it was for the best .. It's just still hard to swallow. 8 years of marriage is a long time ... 10 years of loving someone is hard to accept that it was all over . 

But it is ... And I'm alive ... Even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it. 

But I believe something wonderful is going to happen ... Someday ;) 

But until then I'll just keep laughing through life ...