Patience is a Virtue

I cannot even express how perfect this quote is to me right now ... I struggle so much with being patient . I am very impulsive , I know what I want and if I see it I go for it. Now sometimes that's a good quality but in some ways it's bad . I have had many "regretful purchases " because in the moment I felt it was the coolest thing ever and then realize later I paid too much or actually didn't even need it. Sometimes being impulsive helps me make a fool of myself , I don't get embarrassed easily and will do almost anything to make people laugh, but once again that can lead to those moments of "did I really do that?" Haha ... I like every mother struggle with patience with my kids. I would like to think I do pretty good considering how crazy 3 boys can be , but I can definitely improve in that area. I do know that I'm in no hurry for them to grow up and I try to just love them being little:) 

The thing I struggle most with being patient about is just finding stability and love again. I have been "alone" for over a year now and I still feel like at times I am no further in life . I know being 28 I shouldn't be having such a hard time adapting to life on my own but since I got married so young I have always had someone to lean on and depend on . So this year has really taught me to be more responsible , more independent and smarter about decisions I make . I am a dreamer and a wisher and always wonder where I'll be in 5 years ... Have I met my future husband ? Does he even exist? Will I always struggle with money? Will I ever have more children? Those along with 4500000 more questions go through my mind daily... My goal is to obviously be a great mother and raise them to be gentlemen and successful in life , but I also know that one day they will grow up and find wives and lives of their own . I know that I don't want to wait until they are gone to find someone to share my life with. I want a relationship with someone I can grow old with, who loves me and cherishes me . So that being said I'm sure you see my dilemma with being patient:) but like the quote said , I have learned sooooo much about myself through this process , I have realized so many things about what I do and don't want in life and what I want I'm a partner . I believe that I am a better stronger and more intelligent woman because of the trials I've been through. I believe I will be a better wife if that ever happens because of what I've learned. Love is something I will never take for granted again , I know that patience is the only way I can achieve this goal .. I'm thankful for loving friends and family that help keep me company and let me know when I'm rushing into things :) I am excited and anxious for my "future " but am trying to enjoy and learn from the process.... After all , you can't rush something you want to last forever, and a forever love  is exactly what I want. 

So ............Mr. Perfect hurry up and find me ;) hahah 

no seriously I am making a goal to just focus on improving myself and hopefully when the time is right everything will fall in place . Fingers crossed .:)